10 Postpartum Self-Care Tips for New Mothers
With a newborn baby in tow, many new mothers struggle to take care of their own mental health needs. Keeping afloat during the delicate first few months after childbirth is not an easy task.
Mothers experience hormonal changes, recover from the life-changing event of childbirth and learn to adapt to their new identity as mother – all while running on very little sleep. As new mothers, we can feel overwhelmed, anxious, irritated or isolated.
According to Statistics Canada, about 1 out of 4 mothers who recently had a baby “reported feelings consistent with either postpartum depression or an anxiety disorder”. It goes without saying that mental health is an incredibly important element to our wellbeing in postpartum.
How can new mothers include self-care practices into their postpartum routines? What are some practical tips that can make a positive difference in the mental health of new mothers?
In today’s article, I'm sharing my top 10 favourites in terms of postpartum self-care tips for new mothers.
Be kind to yourself
Practice letting go
Ask for help
Ditch your to-do list and replace it with a “ta da” list
Get outside
Focus on the essentials
Stretch your body
Do something you enjoy
Breathe
Take care of yourself
Disclaimer: This article was written for general inspiration only and does not represent medical advice. If you are experiencing feelings or postpartum depression or anxiety, please ask for help and reach out to a trusted mental health care provider.
1. Be kind to yourself
As new mothers, we tend to fall into the comparison trap... comparing our new lives with our old lives, our baby’s milestones with our friend’s baby’s milestones, our birth story with that of another mother – the list goes on.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
If only we all spoke to ourselves with as much compassion and kindness as we do to our best friends, we’d definitely be in a better place. Having a baby is a monumental change in our lives, and each new day as a parent is an adventure, a journey into the unknown and a beautiful testimony to our ability to grow and change.
When I gave birth to my daughter, I received an incredible piece of advice from Mika Rock, my birth doula at the time. She suggested to “welcome each new day with curiosity”. This simple advice really hit home for me back then, not only because it took a lot of pressure off my days but also because it made me realize that as much as my baby is getting to know me, I am also getting to know my baby.
Tip: Instead of focusing outward, try to focus inward and highlight one thing that you’re really proud of that day. For example, you could set a daily reminder on your phone to prompt you with the sentence “Today, I am proud of myself because … .”.
2. Practice letting go
If there’s one thing that motherhood has taught me, it’s to let go.
Often times, I found myself starting my days with to-do lists that were too long, expectations that were too high and schedules that didn’t happen in the end. As a chronic organizer of all things (hello, previous event planner me!), I wasn’t used to the practice of truly letting go.
For me, letting go means being present in the moment, being adaptable when plans change and trusting that it is more than ok to just be, not just do (this was a hard one for me!).
For example, it could help to put on a quick guided meditation on your phone, put on your headphones and zone out for a few minutes.
Tip: You may want to explore having a dedicated mantra to come back to when it gets hard for you to let go. Personally, I found this mantra very helpful in tough times: “I surrender to the flow of the universe. I let go of what I cannot control.”
3. Ask for help
Oh boy, this one was (and still is) a really tricky one for me…
As somebody who was used to doing it all, becoming a mother was like a slap in the face. Not in the real sense, of course, but it certainly made me realize that it is not humanly possible to do it all alone.
“It takes a village to raise a child, but it also takes a village to raise a mother.”
Chances are, you will need help. Like a lot. You will need help around the house, help with your baby, help coordinating medical follow ups, learning about how to overcome breastfeeding challenges, scheduling appointments, preparing food – the list goes on.
When postpartum becomes overwhelming, please ask for help and rely on your support network: your family, your postpartum doula, your friends, your medical care providers or even your local help hotline.
Tip: If possible, line up your postpartum support prior to giving birth. Get your friends involved to schedule a meal train for a steady supply of food, hire a postpartum doula to support you through your fourth trimester, make a list of things that will be useful to be done around the house.
4. Ditch your to-do list and replace it with a “ta-da” list
Postpartum can be many things, but it certainly isn’t the time to check off items from your to-do list.
Instead of writing endless to-do lists, pass them on to your support network or, even better, create a “ta-da” list. The concept of a ta-da list was first introduced to me by Gretchen Rubin, bestselling author and researcher on habits, happiness and human nature. Instead of writing down a list of things we have to do, a ta-da list is about writing down things we’ve already accomplished.
Sounds encouraging, right?
Tip: For example, at the end of each day, you could write down a few thoughts about things you’ve accomplished that day – understanding your baby’s hunger cues better, enjoying a much-deserved nap, practicing babywearing or simply getting out of bed for a change of clothes. Every little thing counts!
5. Get outside
If you feel physically strong enough (ideally after a prolonged period of rest right after birth), I recommend you take some time to get outside, breathe in the fresh air and let your skin soak up some sunshine, weather permitting.
“In all things of nature there is something of the marvellous.” – Aristotle
Getting outside will lift your spirits, lower your cortisol levels (the stress hormone), strengthen your immunity, increase vitamin D levels and, maybe most importantly for a new mother, provide a much-needed break.
Important: Getting outside does not have to mean a looong walk. In fact, please remember to take it nice and slow after childbirth, especially in the first few weeks of postpartum. It can be as simple as stepping out on your balcony, putting your feet into the grass in your garden or going for a very quick walk through the park.
6. Focus on the essentials
As we navigate postpartum, we tend to forget to nourish our minds and bodies with the essentials: sleep, hydration and nourishment.
Although certainly not an easy task with a newborn, try to get as much rest as you can. You could sleep while your baby is sleeping or rest while giving your baby to your support person.
Other than sleep, it is incredibly important to focus on proper hydration and nourishment after birth – especially if you choose to breastfeed your little one. Make sure to always have enough water or herbal teas next to you, have a steady supply of healthy snacks handy (think nuts, dates, fruits) and focus on nutrient-dense, postpartum-appropriate foods.
As a general rule, postpartum foods should be soft, soupy, warm, moist, creamy, oily and fairly mild.
Tip: One of my favourite reference books in terms of postpartum nourishment and healing is “The First Forty Days – The Essential Art of Nourishing the New Mother” by Heng Ou. Give a copy to your partner, friend or your postpartum doula and have them whip up postpartum-friendly recipes for you to nourish you from the inside out.
7. Stretch your body
A lot of our time in postpartum is spent resting our bodies – rightfully so. Proper rest is incredibly important to recover from the strains of childbirth, allow yourself to connect with your newborn and regain energy for what lies ahead.
Nonetheless, you may want to incorporate gentle stretches into your routine when you’re ready (usually after 4-6 weeks after giving birth, sometimes sooner).
Whenever it feels right for and you feel your body tensing up, you may want to include gentle movements stretching your neck, chest and shoulders, lower back and hip. This post has some incredibly easy postpartum stretching exercises to get you started.
Important: In early postpartum, please avoid excessive exercises that require a significant amount of core strength or overstretch your abdominal muscles, including sit-ups, planks or crunches. If you need guidance about what stretches to do, please reach out to a certified postnatal yoga teacher or physiotherapist.
8. Do something you enjoy
Especially in early motherhood, we tend to forget about the things we used to do for fun.
Our responsibilities have increased, our time is spent caring for our little one and we are simply too exhausted to come up with big plans. Nonetheless, carving out even a little time for something you enjoy can be an absolute game-changer.
Try to set a daily intention for yourself to do something that feels good for YOU. This can be a meditation practice, a nap, a postnatal massage, a head massage from your partner or postpartum doula, a gentle postnatal yoga session or whatever else will fill up your cup post-baby.
Tip: Stick a post-it with the sentence “Today, I choose to do … for myself.” on your bathroom mirror to act as your daily reminder for self-care.
9. Breathe
One of my favourite practices to calm my racing mama mind is to just breathe. Sounds easy enough, doesn’t it?
“Breathe in deeply to bring your mind home to your body.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
Surprisingly enough, I did not know how to properly breathe before embarking on a regular prenatal yoga practice. My breathing used to be too fast, very shallow and not restorative at all.
Little by little, I begin to understand how breathing techniques can help calm us, ground us and equip us with a very simple and accessible tool to improve our coping skills with whatever life throws at us.
In postpartum, it can be super helpful to integrate breathing techniques into your day whenever things become overwhelming.
Tip: One of my favourite breathing techniques for grounding and deep relaxation is the so-called “golden thread breath”, taught to me by my prenatal yoga teacher Jenny Bee at Naada Yoga in Montreal (thank you Jenny!). It’s a very relaxing breathing technique that leverages visualization and helps with anxiety, insomnia and connecting with yourself in the present moment.
Here’s how it goes:
Close your eyes and connect with your breathing.
Focus on your breathing, feeling your lungs expand with air as you inhale and contract as you exhale.
Through your nose, inhale slowly and consciously for at least 6 seconds (more if you can).
Hold your breath for at least 4 seconds (more if you can).
Through your slightly opened mouth, exhale slowly and consciously for at least 6 seconds (more if you can). Only open your lips slightly so that there’s only tiny gap allowing for the air to pass – small enough for only a thread to fit through.
As you exhale, imagine a long golden thread leaving your body and passing through the small opening of your lips.
Each time you exhale, more of the golden thread will gently leave your body and disappear into the distance.
The more you practise, the longer your exhalation will become and the deeper your relaxation will be.
10. Take care of yourself
When you are feeling exhausted or disconnected, you most likely won’t be able to be as present, compassionate and loving with yourself, your baby and others around you. The more you take care of yourself, the better you will be able to take care of others in return.
Here are some examples of how you can take care of yourself during your fourth trimester:
Treat yourself with a postnatal massage.
Book an appointment with a pelvic floor physiotherapist.
Hire a postpartum doula to support you and your family.
Schedule some time with an osteopath to optimize your healing after childbirth.
Get a postpartum-safe essential oil to help you calm down, sleep better or elevate your mood.
Consider going to therapy to process your pregnancy, childbirth experience or motherhood journey so far.
