New Mom Burnout: Understanding and Overcoming Postnatal Depletion
When we become mothers, it’s somewhat expected for us to feel tired or exhausted. And granted, fatigue is definitely a normal part of new motherhood.
However, feeling depleted certainly is not. Yet, it affects more and more mothers.
What does postnatal depletion really mean?
How does it manifest for new mothers?
And what can we do to overcome it and get back to being well and healthy?
In this blog article, I’m taking a deep dive into postnatal depletion with its many facets and offer practical solutions for mothers to increase their wellbeing sustainably.
Disclaimer: This article is meant for general guidance only. If you feel depleted during your postpartum journey, please reach out to your medical provider or seek support from other perinatal professionals such as postpartum doulas, psychotherapists or friends and family.
What is postnatal depletion?
First coined by Dr. Oscar Serrallach, a functional medicine doctor with a special interest in postnatal wellbeing, postnatal depletion is a term used to describe:
“the physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion that many women experience after giving birth. It is not the same as postpartum depression, although the two conditions can coexist.”
While the body undergoes tremendous changes during pregnancy, the early postpartum period can be just as demanding, if not more so.
The birth itself can be a physically traumatic experience, and the mother's body must recover from the strain of labor and delivery. In addition to this, the new mother may be dealing with sleep deprivation, breastfeeding challenges, and the emotional demands of caring for a newborn.
Postnatal depletion can manifest in a variety of ways, including:
fatigue
irritability
emotional exhaustion
brain fog or ‘baby brain’
difficulty concentrating
lack of motivation or interest in activities that were previously enjoyable.
Women who experience postnatal depletion may feel overwhelmed and unable to cope with the demands of motherhood, and may struggle to maintain a sense of identity beyond being a caregiver.
In fact, symptoms of postnatal depletion can last for up to a decade (yes, that’s 10 years!) after giving birth! That’s why it’s so crucial to address the root cause and focus on prevention and proper treatment during the early postpartum weeks and months.
How does postnatal depletion occur?
1. Lack of nutrition
Pregnancy and childbirth place significant demands on the body, and many women are left depleted in key nutrients such as iron, magnesium, and B vitamins. These nutritional deficiencies can leave women feeling exhausted and unable to cope with the demands of motherhood.
As we recover from childbirth and enter the stages of new motherhood, it is especially important to focus on nutrient-dense, healing foods that are adapted to the postpartum period and nourish your body and soul, one bite at a time.
2. Lack of sleep
Newborns require frequent feedings and attention around the clock, which can leave new mothers feeling exhausted and sleep-deprived. This can exacerbate feelings of fatigue and make it more difficult to cope with the demands of new motherhood.
What we need to remember as new mothers is that postpartum is not the time to ‘get things done’, have a to-do list or try to do it all on your own.
Instead, try to incorporate as many moments of rest and sleep as you can, have a circle of trusted souls to take care of baby while you catch up on sleep, and focus on improving your sleep quality as best as you can (think no blue light before bedtime, soothing herbal teas, meditative music to help you calm down etc.).
3. Lack of support
Unfortunately, modern parents are often faced with an impossible dilemma: living far away from their own families or having no immediate support system in place to carry them through the first few weeks and months with a newborn baby.
In many parts of the world, the postpartum period is a time of community and support - a time in which elders, friends and family come together to support the new family, whether through home cooked meals, parenting wisdom or simply an extra set of hands to take care of baby.
If you can, try building your support network already during pregnancy:
Who is going to help you cook meals?
Who will take care of the household?
How can you get a moment of rest after a sleepless night?
More and more families will decide to engage their existing circle or hire a postpartum doula to support them through the fourth trimester and beyond.
4. Lack of nervous system regulation
When a mother’s nervous system is dysregulated, it can lead to a number of emotional symptoms such as anxiety, depression, irritability, mood swings, and difficulty coping with stress.
These symptoms can be caused by imbalances in neurotransmitters (chemical messengers in the brain) that regulate mood and emotion.
5. Hormonal changes
After giving birth, the body undergoes a rapid shift in hormone levels, which can lead to mood swings, fatigue, and other symptoms of postnatal depletion.
As our progesterone and estrogen levels decrease, our oxytocin and prolactin levels increase. This hormonal rollercoaster ride means that we will experience a lot of strong, often mixed emotions.
We may feel over-the-moon in love with our newborn, yet also very sad and anxious about our new role as parent. We may be happy with our reality yet feel overwhelmed and mourn our old life.
6. Emotional stress
Becoming a mother can be an emotionally intense experience, and many women struggle with feelings of anxiety, overwhelm, and self-doubt. These emotional stressors can contribute to postnatal depletion.
What can we do about postnatal depletion?
Here are some strategies that may help you feel less depleted during the postpartum period. Keep in mind that postnatal depletion is complex, and change doesn’t happen overnight.
1. Nourish your body
Eating a nutrient-dense diet can help replenish the nutrients that were depleted during pregnancy and childbirth. Focus on eating plenty of iron-rich, nutrient-dense and healing foods such as stews, broths, soups and herbal infusions.
Postpartum is also not the time to ditch your supplements and get rid of your prenatal vitamins right away… quite the opposite! Many new mothers are deficient in or lacking iron, vitamin B12, zinc, vitamin C, vitamin D, magnesium and copper.
If you think you may be deficient, please ask for a complete panel and start integrating natural supplements, postnatal vitamins or protein powders for extra energy.
►►Tip: Of course, nobody expects you to whip up postpartum-appropriate meals by yourself. Ask your friends to organize a meal train or hire a postpartum doula to take care of your meals (I often cook in the homes of the families I support!).
2. Prioritize sleep
While it may be difficult to get a full night's sleep with a newborn, it's important to prioritize sleep whenever possible.
Take naps during the day when your baby is sleeping, and consider asking your partner, a family member or your postpartum doula to help with feedings so that you can get more rest.
►►Tip: Make your sleep space as a new mother a true oasis. Light candles, dim the lights, get new PJ’s, buy a new set of sheets. Your postpartum body will thank you for creating a pleasant sleep space.
3. Practice self-care
Taking time for yourself is crucial for maintaining your emotional and mental wellbeing. This may involve taking a relaxing bath, going for a walk, or engaging in a hobby that you enjoy.
►►Tip: Come up with a list of 10 things that bring you joy and calm. Pin the list on your fridge/ mirror or close to where you’re feeding your baby as a gentle reminder to integrate small moments of self care into your new reality as a mother. If you need more ideas, I put together a list of 10 postpartum self-care tips for new mothers with easy inspiration.
4. Seek support
Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Whether it's from a partner, family member, or healthcare provider, having a support system in place can help ease the demands of motherhood and reduce feelings of overwhelm.
Support also helps to regulate the nervous system by reducing stress and promoting feelings of connection and well-being.
►►Tip: Postpartum Support International put together a fantastic guide for new parents called “Growing Your Village”. I highly recommend checking it out if you’re unsure about what to do.
5. Consider therapy
If you're struggling with postnatal depletion or other emotional challenges, seeking the help of a mental health professional can be incredibly beneficial. Therapy can provide a safe and supportive space for you to process your feelings and develop coping strategies.
►►Tip: Consider googling “perinatal mental health professional” or “postpartum therapist” when looking for a trusted therapist who’s well versed in that area of expertise. You’ll want to work with somebody who is experienced in postpartum specifically.
Background Reading
If you’d like to dive a little deeper into the subject of postnatal depletion, there are several wonderful books and studies that explore the concept. Here are a few of my personal favourites:
"The Fourth Trimester: A Postpartum Guide to Healing Your Body, Balancing Your Emotions, and Restoring Your Vitality" by Kimberly Ann Johnson
This book offers practical advice and guidance on how to recover from the physical and emotional challenges of childbirth and adjust to the demands of motherhood.
"The Postnatal Depletion Cure: A Complete Guide to Rebuilding Your Health and Reclaiming Your Energy for Mothers of Newborns, Toddlers, and Young Children" by Dr. Oscar Serrallach
This book explores the physical, emotional, and mental challenges that new mothers face and offers strategies for replenishing the body's nutrients and building resilience.
"Postpartum Depletion, Second Edition: Healing the Body, Balancing the Mind, and Restoring Vitality for Mothers and Mothers-to-Be" by Dr. Tracy Gaudet and Sandi McCann
This book provides an overview of the physical and emotional challenges that new mothers face and offers practical advice for restoring vitality and building resilience.
A study published in the journal Women's Health Issues in 2018 titled "Postpartum Depletion: What Is It, and What Can Be Done About It?" by Dr. Molly Millwood and Dr. Martie Haselton
This study provides an overview of the concept of postpartum depletion and explores the various factors that contribute to this condition. The authors also offer recommendations for how healthcare providers can better support new mothers during the postpartum period.
These resources offer valuable insights and guidance for new mothers who are struggling with postpartum depletion.
In Closing
In conclusion, postnatal depletion is a common experience for many new mothers, and it's important to prioritize your physical, emotional, and mental health during this time.
By nourishing your body, prioritizing sleep, practicing self-care, seeking support, and considering therapy if needed, you can take steps towards recovering from postnatal depletion and thriving as a new mother.
