How to Calm a Fussy Baby: 6 Foolproof Tips for New Parents

Oh, the joys of new parenthood! As we begin our new lives with a newborn in tow, we will most definitely experience times where our baby is going to be unusually fussy. Times where nothing seems to quite work to calm them down, where they seem unhappy regardless of what we try and for no particular reason (at least not for a reason that seems to make sense for us). 

Before diving into some strategies, let me start by saying that just like us adults, babies have different moods and emotions. They get happy, sad, bored or frustrated. And that’s ok. All emotions are valid. We all have a right to express our emotions, regardless of whether we’re 30 days old or 30 years old. 

That being said, how can we really calm a fussy baby? Which strategies help soothe our little ones when they’re going through episodes of prolonged crying? And how can help them regulate by helping them move from their sympathetic nervous system to their parasympathetic nervous system? 

In this blog, I’m sharing 6 foolproof strategies (and a bonus tip!) that I’ve come to appreciate as mama and postpartum doula supporting families through the first few weeks and months with a new baby. 

Disclaimer: If your baby is going through extended periods of fussiness and discontent, please consider consulting your trusted medical care provider to rule out any health concerns (reflux, gassiness, ‘colic’, tummy troubles, oral ties, sensory differences, body tightness). Babies may not know how to verbalize their needs yet but are usually pretty incredible about communicating when something is wrong. Trust your gut and double check if you feel that something is off. 

1. Rule out basic needs 

One of the first things I apply while helping support a fussy baby is ruling out basic needs that they may have. 

Are they too hot or too cold?

Babies overheat quickly and may have an increase in body temperature sooner than we think. Try adding or removing some layers of clothing to see if that helps. 

Do they have a dirty diaper that’s bothering them?

Especially babies who are on the more sensitive side or have sensory processing exceptionalities will often let us know when they need to be changed. Check their diaper to make sure they’re comfortable and dry. 

Are they hungry?

As a new mama, I used to keep track of milk feeds religiously to make sure my daughter regained her birth weight quickly and followed her growth curve. Now, I understand that babies don’t operate on a clock and may have periods of intense cluster feeds when they will eat/ drink more frequently than usual. This often coincides with a growth spurt or a so-called developmental leap and is very normal. In other words, it may not make sense to you that your baby is asking to be fed again, but trust their hunger cues and trust them in knowing best when and how much milk they need. 

Are they sick?

Babies tend to get more fussy when they’re not feeling well. You may want to check if your baby has a temperature, tummy troubles or a slight cold, all of which may be the reason for more-than-usual fussiness. 

2. Get moving 

After spending months inside their mama’s body, newborn babies continue to really enjoy gentle movement. Try rocking, gently swaying, bouncing or walking with your baby to calm them down.  

If they enjoy being held by you, babywearing is a fantastic way of keeping your baby close and incorporating some gentle movement at the same time.

You can put your baby in a baby wrap/ carrier inside your home or even venture out outside for a quick walk. When it comes to practicing something new, please be gentle with yourself and start by short intervals of babywearing – this will be a new skill for you and your little one! 

Pro tip: If you’re too tired yourself to get your baby moving, ask your partner or postpartum doula to include gentle movement into your baby’s day. This can mean bouncing on an exercise ball, doing a little dance with baby to music in the background or even going for a walk outside in the stroller. The possibilities are endless.  

3. Skin to skin 

Skin to skin is an incredibly beautiful practice, not only for close connection between the parent and the baby but also for its many benefits (lowered blood pressure, regulation of heartbeat, breathing and body temperature, release of oxytocin, reduction in cortisol, better immunization, etc.). 

Often, what fussy babies really need is an extra dose of good ol’ skin-to-skin connection with their trusted caregiver. A moment to slow down, reconnect and focus on the essentials of a loving connection.

Skin to skin is especially helpful when babies seem to be overstimulated, for example on days with lots of outings, activities or sensory-rich stimulations. 

Pro tip: Skin to skin doesn’t have to be exclusive to the mother. Ask your partner, older sibling to jump in and treat your baby with some skin-to-skin time. 

4. Add water 

This one is worth gold in many situations and works for babies and toddlers alike. If your baby is extra fussy, try incorporating some water play for a sensory-rich experience and to expose their curious minds to a new activity. 

Water play can mean giving your baby a bath during the day (even if it’s not time for their bath yet) or letting them play with a little in a tray or container filled with warm water and a couple of water-safe toys.  

Pro tip: Make your water play even more fun by adding new/ unfamiliar objects, such as spoons, little cups or sponges. This will add a new level of exploring textures. 

5. Switch things up 

Just like us adults, babies get bored and may need a change of scenery.

When babies are extra fussy, they may be overstimulated and in need of quiet connection or understimulated and in need of something need. In that case, pick a new activity or move playtime to a new area in your home that’s unfamiliar to your baby. 

Pro tip: If you usually play in a designated play area, move your baby’s play mat to a different place (even if it feels weird). Babies are just as happy hanging out with us on the kitchen floor or in the bathroom as they are in their designated nursery, especially if that get to watch us go about our day. 

6. Go outside 

If all else fails, going outside and breathing in some fresh air can do wonders to calm a fussy baby (and a stressed parent, too!).  

It comes as no surprise that babies usually relax, have longer naps and become more content when they’re exposed to the incredible power of nature and the great outdoors.  

When it’s cold, make sure to bundle them up and head out for a brisk walk in the cold wintery air. When it’s warm, put your baby on a little picnic blanket or directly on the grass and let them explore their surroundings. Sometimes, watching the trees moves gently in the wind can be just as fascinating (if not more) as watching a mobile on top of their play mats. 

Fun fact: Did you know that in Scandinavia, babies are used to taking all their naps outside, even in very cold conditions? Daycares usually have their little ones nap in strollers outside of the actual daycare building, and you will stumble upon lines of strollers with carefully-bundled up babies in front of cafés and restaurants. While this practice is fairly uncommon in North America, you may want to consider moving at least one of your baby’s daily naps outside. 

* Bonus tip: Calm yourself down first *

This one’s not really about calming a fussy baby, but equally important to create a soothing environment in the home.

When babies fuss for longer periods of time, this can create a lot of anxiety and frustration for new parents, especially if they are easily triggered by the sound of crying.  

Contrary to popular belief, babies are not able to self soothe and need the loving support of their caregivers to enter into a state of calm. Instead of self-regulating, they actually co-regulate. This means that they will regulate with us and feed off whatever state we are in. If we are nervous and anxious, chances are that our babies will sense that and react by being becoming nervous and anxious too. If we are calm and gentle, our babies will learn to calm down, too. 

If you feel yourself becoming anxious or impatient, try to incorporate some self-care and self-regulating strategies to help you cope with the fussiness of your baby. This can mean plugging in some headphones and listening to a podcast/ audiobook, humming a mantra, doing a quick meditation, practicing some deep breathing or putting on your favorite happy song – really whatever helps you find your own calmness.  

Pro tip: You may want to check out my blog article 10 Postpartum Self-Care Tips for New Mothers for some inspiration around how to give yourself the self-care that you need as a new mama. If you are frequently triggered by your baby and have a hard time regulating yourself, please consider reaching out to a mental health professional.